What's Up Column: Fatherhood

I wonder what kind of parent I’m going to be.
You see, my future sister-in-law recently gave birth to a lovely bundle of bouncing baby girl. It’s truly an amazing thing, holding the freshly minted miracle of birth in your hands. Amidst my cradling and cooing, thoughts of my own future in diapers popped into my head.
Actually, I was also thinking about how pushing something slightly larger than a football out of your body has got to hurt. I mean, I would likely come close to passing out if anyone came at me with a catheter.
(Now, for one of my usual side notes: I’ve made a pledge to my partner, that when we decide to have children, during the labour process, she is more than welcome to punch me in the groin at least three times. If it turns out we’re only going to have one, she gets another shot.)
I have to honestly say that I have absolutely no qualms about becoming a parent. I had the opportunity to be a “manny” recently and I’ve come to a solid conclusion that kids are a heck of a lot of fun.
That being said, knowing the kind of person I am, I wonder how that will affect my future progeny. A part of me is slightly amused at the image of my kid inventing stories of what his father does for a living. Mainly from fear of embarrassment of telling other kids the truth.
“Daddy’s a comedian,” doesn’t have quite the same gravitas as “Daddy’s a Space Marine!”
(I’m assuming in the future, we’ll have need for such an occupation. Or maybe I’m just hoping we will.)
I also don’t hide the fact that I truly enjoy the varied pleasures that fall into the category of “geeky”. I can already comprehend the anticipation that all fathers must have, in their desire to influence their children with the same likes or dislikes.
It’s going to be an extreme test of will, to not seem like a raving madman when certain subjects are broached.
“Lemme tell ya kiddo, it’s all about the original Star Trek,” I’ll say to my youngster, while clutching a copy of The City on The Edge of Forever. “Our lesson tomorrow will start with the incredible story arc of Babylon 5! Make yourself comfortable, 'cause then we have a whole lot of SCTV to get through.”
Are you already feeling embarrassed for children I don’t even have yet?
You see, I know I will do my best to raise my children to be healthy and happy. Naturally (and hopefully), everyone else in the world sets out to do the very same. It’s in the whole “raising” part where we all differ.
Influencing your children to think and act as you would like is so much of a natural process, it’s practically an unconscious activity. Of course we all would like our children to enjoy the same activities we do and maybe indulge in the same hobbies we have. You look at everything that influenced you and you can’t help but want to share that.
I know it doesn’t always work out that way.
And that’s perfectly fine.
I took a lot of time and philosophizing (I got that dog-eared copy of Illusions somewhere) to become the person I am. I think the best thing I can do is ensure my children have that same freedom. I would like their life decisions to be truly their own.
And that’s a simple formula. Make sure they’re healthy and happy. That I know I can do.
And if a copy of Crisis on Infinite Earths should be on the bookshelf next to Peter Rabbit, don’t blame me.
“Kids, did I ever tell you about the Sinestro Corps?”