Jive Talkin'

So let's say you really enjoyed talking crap -

But not just any kind of crap - stoner jive. It's a term that was originally coined by my lady love, to describe only the sweetest of introspective chatter that occurs when one is - oh - shall we say - under the influence. I like to dance around subjects as much as the next person, considering I'd wager at least 70% of the territory has intimate knowledge of the subject - or let's just say - y'all know exactly what I'm talking about, right?

Good now that's out of the way -

Jiving. I had an awful lot of it last night.

When travelling, if you're like me, you like to find a place to call home, a watering hole that in some way encapsulates what we like to find at home. A nice cozy atmosphere, with a wide selection of beer is what we were looking for while on vacation in South Florida. We found exactly what we were looking for and more in the Funky Buddha -



A bar smack in the middle of retirements-ville Boca Raton. We headed there for the draw of 90+ micro-brew options, hookahs and a free open mic for me to get out some performance anxieties. (I gotta rant on stage every so often or I get squirrely - a common affliction with stand-ups)

After one evening, we had made some very close friends - including the incredibly talented Master of South Floridian comedy and all around nice feller Richy Lala, the astoundingly funny and heavily bearded Matt Z, and the guru of all things beer related - Joey Beers.

You gotta love a place where the man behind the counter can take you on random hop induced flavour adventures...but I digress.

Matt and I had some jiving to do, seeing as it was our last night in town. We covered a wide variety of subjects - but a couple of them stuck with me.

Tweens. The rise of the tweens. Having gone through the horror of witnessing hundreds of girls screaming during the piece of garbage titled "Twilight", I voiced my concern to Matt on how these 13 somethings were completely taking over, and thus ruining the entertainment industry. Some of you might say that it's all harmless pre-teen fun, but if Miley Cyrus isn't a sign of the Apocalypse, then I'll eat my imaginary hat! Hilary Duff never made me worry for my sanity - so what happened? I'm pretty sure it's tweens of the nineties that ruined pop music. Hear that you 80's music lovers - that's where you point your fingers! Matt and I might have come up with more answers, but then we moved to politics.

I told my new American pal that a small part of me had hoped that McCain and Palin would win the election just to see how crazy the world would get after that. Matt was slightly saddened but agreed that a part of him wished that had happened as well, just so his paranoid self would be able to shout: "See! I told you so! I was right!"

From politics we moved to professional wrestling, and the heyday of the art, which we both agreed had peaked around the mid-nineties, with the introduction of The Undertaker as its supreme highlight. Yes, I miss those days when I bought into it whole-heartedly. When The Hulkster was shaking he was nigh-invincible! And those were the days when a body slam was a finishing move and the sight of a chair in the ring was something rare and awesome...

While we were on a roll, we switched to the internet - and how it was a wonderful mecca of proliferation, and how it should always remain that way - completely uncensored. And then we posited that this granted people far more disposable income, since with a computer and internet connection, one not need spend a cent to receive any entertainment they desire. For example, I wish I had seen Twilight in the comfort of my own home, instead of in the middle of a shrieking hormone hurricane. So, with all of this extra cash, what will we North Americans spend our money mostly on? Food. And with extra money, we want to spend our money on the best food possible, thus we have the proliferation of The Food Network and hundreds of food related reality shows and cooking challenges. This, with the sheer amount of ultimate fighting challenges, will of course bring us closer to the neo-Roman Civilization we all unconsciously want.
Phew -
Take that to your Riverdale dinner parties my friends - amidst the looks of confusion and awkward silence, there will be a good third present who will be completely agreeing with you.
Don't be afraid of where the jive will lead you - this I have learned.

Also - don't watch Twilight.