Return to the Horse

I've decided that the Yukon is very much like the island from Lost.
I'll take a chance at frustrating people, cause I'm not going to bother to go into details, cause I think more people should watch the show. Suffice to say, there will always be a pull to go back North.
I've tried to explain to people what makes the Yukon so interesting. It really is one of those places that you need to see for yourself, to fully understand. Like Vegas - I don't care what kind of Earth Mother friendly kind of person you are, forgo thoughts of your carbon footprint, and land them feet in Las Vegas at least once. It will be impossible to regret.
See Vegas and Whitehorse, there are comparisons. Plus I've heard a lot of stories of the mob having ties to Watson Lake and a certain hunting lodge outside of Haines Junction. Not so far-fetched of a comparison perhaps.
And heed the call back North I certainly did, for Rendezvous no less.
Coasters were putting together a big re-launch of the Comedy Nights, followed by three nights of Sweet Soul Burlesque, returning for the third time to Whitehorse. All during Rendezvous.
Indeed, there was no way I was not going to be a part of that.
I flew up on a Monday, and by Tuesday, the roller coaster had started. First, Erica and I spent a great evening hanging out with Howie Miller, the comic hired by Coasters to headline the re-launch. That was the first of some very long nights.
The comedy night re-launch went over extremely well, having an entirely new audience. Chris McNutt, Al MacLoed and Tristan Hopper each had great sets, and I worked my pasty white arse off to bring a great night, culminating in a marathon of laughs from Howie.
We ended up leaving him in the room across from his, at around three in the morning, watching a long-time Rendezvous volunteer hump a rubber chicken.
Then I get a call around nine am, from Mr. Miller, asking me to come hang out in his room. Figuring five hours of sleep was enough for me, I headed over and we watched Star Trek (the original, natch) some of the Obama visit, and what I was sure was stoned people doing the Global Edmonton news.
Howie and I will meet again soon enough, he wants me to open for him when he's in Saskatoon in a couple of weeks. I'm very much looking forward to the opportunity.
The next three nights, I was a happy little worker, all for the Sweet Soul Burlesque crew. These are some fine performers, and really really genuine people. The shows were pretty epic, including performances from the MacLean sisters (a band), some dancers from the latest Varietease show and of course the evening wouldn't be complete without the Sourdough Rendezvous Can-can dancers.
This was a three-hour burlesque extravaganza. And a very classic one at that.
It was a celebration of female sexuality, but also a carnival of cheap lewdness and debauchery.
Not a lot of people can handle a real burlesque show, and what that truly entails. This was readily apparent from the person that came up to me after the show on Saturday, to tell me about how she was offended by things I said on the Thursday night. I was a little taken aback, as everything I had said, while certainly being lewd, was all a part of the show. These were lines I had rehearsed with, during the Varietease act, in which I say these lewd comments, then get summarily punished for it by the Varietease dancers. It was a pretty simple set-up, with a righteous kind of pay-off.
The funny thing was, the exact same act had been performed before at the Guild Hall, which the complainant had seen. If she wasn't offended then, why did she feel the need to say something now? Is it because it was a friend of hers saying the "offensive" comments during the Guild Shows, and now it was me?
Compounding the ridiculousness, she then told me that she would never be attending another performance of mine. This was quite funny to me, as she has never been to any of the comedy shows before this, and she very well knew that I didn't live in Whitehorse anymore.
An audience I never had, is certainly one I'll never miss.
I wasn't necessarily diplomatic about it when I shouted: "Like I *%$@ing care!"
But, I had a few Chilkoots in me, and my buzz was being killed in front of my eyes.
It certainly deflated my fun balloon that night. And what made it a little worse was feelings of sympathy I had for my verbal assailant. The sympathy came out of my re-telling of the incident, to pretty much everyone involved with the show. Now there's a large group of far more intelligent, and far more secure women, who think she's a complete idiot. That's what a self-inflated sense of importance gets you gang.
Someone who doesn't like my stuff, that's easy, there's a lot of them out there, but someone who completely misses the point of something so obvious - it makes for a teeth-grinding kind of evening.
I got back on that fun horse though - enough that by around 5am, my liver walked out of my body and slapped me in the face.
We balanced all this Rendezvous crazy time with some great quality time with our nieces. These are two great kids, who we've had the pleasure of knowing since both their infancies. One is almost two and the other is four, both fun developmental stages to watch. And influence...
We caught up with as many people as we could, but with such a short schedule, we couldn't fit everything in.
But we came up with some interesting theories:
1. Whitehorse is a unique place in Canada, because there are no "buffer" people. While pretty much every other major urban centre has a large part of their population that live pretty basic lives (work, eat, sleep, etc.), even the nine-to-fivers in the Yukon are some pretty kooky people. There's no buffer zone between normal folks and the colorful ones - they're all pretty darn colorful.
2. We'll be back again - whether months or years, doesn't really matter, we'll always be a part of the Island.

There - now go watch more Lost.

Florida Part 2

I meant to write some cheeky entries on the latter part of our Florida trip -
But I pictured myself reading this in the future, thinking: "Who freakin' cares..."
So I sat down and thought about the real salient points I would actually like to get across about our stay in Fort Lauderdale for a month.
The thing that really saved the trip was a little hookah bar called: "The Funky Buddha"
I discovered the place while looking for an open mic to do some comedy. Now that I've been doing stand-up for a couple of years, it has become a regular compulsion to make sure I can get in front of a mic on a regular basis. The longer in between stage time, and I actually get squirrely. It's a question all comics ask themselves, when can I next some time? I'd elbow my way into weddings for five minutes and an audience.
So, while were in Florida, my itch was starting to drive me nuts. Then I spotted the ad for this open mic in Boca Raton, only 20 minutes from where we were staying. The fact that it was a hookah bar with over 90 specialty beers was a decent draw as well.
Let's just say it seemed like a natural place to find like-minded people. And by like-minded people...okay, how many hints would you like? Basically - two birds, one stone, alright?
The place was nestled in a strip-mall, flanked by a Deli and Kinko's. And it was in this unlikely place we found our haven.
That first open mic was pretty over-whelming. It wasn't just comedians, but folk musicians, bar rockers, hip-hop artists, beat poets and an old blues icon. This was an amazing pastiche of open mic denizens - all under the Funky Buddha banner.
Hosting this cavalcade was one Richy Lala, a Dr. Bunsen Honeydew look-alike. I've never seen a comic do crowd work like this guy. He's a natural storyteller, able to exactly measure the appropriate amounts of charm and smarm necessary to keep the crowd enthused. The guy was a pro host, plus a great comedian.
There was also Matt Z, of proud Scandinavian descent, who took to the stage like an awkward Viking, but then assaulted the crowd with hilarious material about his apparent disfuctionality. If debasing yourself becomes an artform, this guy will be its Picasso.
We had many adventures with the Buddha gang, turning our trip into something more than just a sightseeing expedition. We made some lasting friends.
An unexpected, yet rewarding surprise.
It reminded me so much of the comedy scene we started in the Yukon. There's a large group of people that know each other, and make sure to tell one another about upcoming gigs. It seemed really supportive, and a lot of fun to be a part of.
We always had ample performance opportunity in the Yukon, let's face it, if you want a stage to put whatever the hell you fancy in front of an audience, it can easily be done. Our show at the Arts Centre proved how easy it can be if someone wants to do the work.
Our pals in Florida have that too, but they also are exactly where they need to be to hit the next level. The leap from amateur to pro certainly is facilitated by having access to larger markets. South Florida, with easy access to Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Tampa, and Orlando, seems like a decent logical choice for someone wanting to get into the comedy game.
I don't think Id leave Canada, but when I check out Facebook pictures of our friends at the Funky Buddha, wearing tank tops and shorts in February, I wonder if I might have took that constant hot weather for granted...

Cleverness

It's a double-edge sword, isn't it?
While chasing the heights of cleverness as much as one can, especially while I was living in a counter-culture obsessed, irony hoarding place like Whitehorse - I have taken the time to reflect on how ridiculous some of my choices in life have been.
I have been guilty many times of tripping over my own cleverness, trying to reach greater plateaus than my peers, having more informed opinions or inflated ones anyway...
Until I was enthralled by this:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

After pouring through the website, I have come to two conclusions:

1. Whitehorse is the whitest place I have ever known.

2. I am now another member in my newly created ever-growing category of Stuff White People Like: "Being humbled by Stuff White People Like."

Florida Part 1

In a need to disseminate a month in the States, I shall expound on our vacation there.

First off, why Florida? It really wouldn't be the first choice on a list of places to visit. I had been there when I was young, did the Disney World thing, and viewed the humid flatness of it all.

The main reason for heading to Fort Lauderdale was the free digs. My father owns a condo in a low security, gated retirement community. Hard to pass up not having to pay hotel bills.

Our second reason was the pull of Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights.

Having had a wonderful time scaring the bejeezurs out of people at our haunted house in the Guild Hall last year, the prospect of an entire theme park transformed into a cavalcade of horror sounded like a lot of fun.

Arriving in Florida, we weren't particularly surprised by the humidity, that's to be expected. What came as an unpleasant surprise, was upon entry into the condo, discovering a large complement of dead cockroaches through the house. Apparently the person care taking the place fired off a bug bomb before our arrival, which was thoughtful, but with all the drains open and the water shut off - them bugs decided to skitter their way into the condo proper.

There isn't much that makes me squeamish, but I can't freakin' stand cockroaches. An old apartment building I lived in, in downtown Ottawa was above a Lebanese bakery, which smelled really nice - but also attracted the bugs. Watching a cockroach crawl out of the tap while you're brushing your teeth isn't an event I'd wish on anyone.

Cleaning up their dried carcasses, we moved through the house with unease, discovering a couple of live ones. Of course the one I sprayed happened to be one of the more evolved beasts that could fly. Eeeeeeeeuuuuuughhhh.

I think we should all be suspicious about cockroaches. Every time I would spray one with the killing juice, it would immediately scuttle/fly towards me - likely in a desperate attempt to land one last blow.

The condo cleaned, we moved onto the next task, getting our wheels in gear.

My father also had an old Cadillac for us to drive - a great ole boat - about as old as I am, and wall to wall white leather. What he failed to mention however, was that the insurance had expired...

Ah well.

Our first cultural forays into Fort Lauderdale involved the Seminole Hard Rock Casino, a grand example of largess, but also home to some of the best sushi we've ever had in our lives. Another point of note was the Publix grocery store, in which the next row beside the cereal aisle, was all wine and beer.

I tell you my friends, being able to buy my evenings booze and food in the same location is a wonderful sign of civilization. Is it that Canadians can't be trusted to have their liquor so accessible? Probably.

We had a couple of days to drive around the town (Google maps saved the day numerous times), and then we were off on our first adventure to Orlando, to hit the Halloween Horror Nights.

Heading to theme park, you're going to have to assume a couple of things. Firstly, you are going to spend a lot of money - natch. Second, you might be elbowing your way from one end of the park to another.

We were proved wrong on the latter at least. October/November is a pretty quiet time for the park thankfully. So we were able to hit the rides with joyful abandon.

Good ole Jurrasic Park! While the ride might be a little dated, nineties style - the pay-off at the end is all worth it. Almost in a "Is the giant animatronic T-Rex head screaming at me going to crush us all?" kind of way.

A little damp we sauntered over to the grandiose "Poseidon's Fury", a terribly dull A/V live actor experience, that involved a gorgeous zillion dollar set on the outside. Thankfully, the Twin Dragon, dueling roller coaster was able to take the taste of that experience away.

I've only had small experience with theme parks, the aforementioned DisneyWorld, and a couple of ventures out to Canada's Wonderland.

I never was really interested in any of the periphery things in the parks. I could care less about the decor, shops and displays - gimme the rides. I've been a roller coaster nut since the first time I parked my arse in a wooden beast in CW.

Universal Studios was disappointing in the coaster department, Twin Dragons was decent, and the over-hyped Hulk coaster was actually dull. The 3-D Spiderman ride was an exhilarating surprise, but what trumped every single ride - the experience that we needed to do over 9 times - Revenge of The Mummy.

It's one part A/V experience, which is okay, but the it has the most intense seconds of fast indoor coaster action - in pitch black! Now that might have made up for the exuberant price of admission alone.

Our main reason for wandering into the doors though happened every evening - Halloween Horror Nights. They take one entire section of the park, fill it with "scare zones" and nine elaborate haunted houses. And though you might be stuck in a long queue, it's that anticipation of getting to the front gates, and hearing the genuine screams inside that make it a wonderful experience.

If you love Halloween, horror, or just getting the living crap scared out of you - think about it.

This is a movie studio after all, they have the money and the resources. Many of the houses we wandered through really knocked it out of the park with theme and atmosphere. Some seemed cobbled together, and some had half-assed actors inside - but it was all worth it.

If that wasn't enough, they had hundreds of people in costume wandering around to spook the unwary. The thick fog they would pump through the park also helped the mood.

This malevolent Scarecrow was advancing on Erica as she tried
to take a picture of him. He was a part of the Oz themed scare zone, complete with evil Winkie guards on stilts, an insult shouting witch atop a parapet, and flying monkeys. Seriously, they had guys on wires that would swoop out of the fog from one end of the street to the other.


You can try and say you're not unnerved, that these are only actors, but where's the fun in that.


The whole point of these nights is to scare yourself silly.


You can imagine how many "jocky" type alpha males would try and put on brave faces for their shrieking girlfriends. Those same guys would be the ones jumping six feet in the air as an actor announces their presence behind him with the roar of a chainsaw.


There were a lot of sneaky chainsaw dudes...



And these guys, who looked distinctly like "The Gentlemen" from a favourite Buffy episode of mine. (Judge me if you will, but I will defend the value of that show.)
These guys were stationed in a Jack the Ripper themed scare zone, gliding around on those roller shoes, each one of them at least six feet tall. Tall gaunt figures with white faces, literally gliding out of the fog - now that's some good scare effect I tells ya.
We had two favourite houses of note, one involved a story about zombies, glow paint and strobe blacklights. Think blackness, flash of nothing, blackness, then suddenly a zombie is in your face.
There was also the Interstellar Terror, a whole space ship to wander through, filled with possessed crew members.
You would think that one would get tired of all that Halloween-ness, but they truly found new and innovative ways to tweak scares out of people. Even when you were sure you could see it coming, a little misdirection would pull you into the real scares.

Funny thing was, it wasn't even Halloween yet - we still had to do our thing.
We went back to Fort Lauderdale to prepare...

It all starts here -

Sorry, I was attempting to be clever.
To kind of expand on my post about cartoons, or more specifically the opening themes for some of my favourites. While Batman: The Animated Series, and Batman Beyond are by far my favourite openings, there are some great ones out there in television land. There are some themes that capture the eye, or have a particular tune that makes you watch the same opening over and over.
I noticed this trend with an obvious winner - The Sopranos -



Even though I would rent episodes on DVD, I never skipped the intro. It sets up the entire show so very well, musically, visually and thematically. Tony's drive from the city, through Jersey to his home shows so much that encapsulates the uniqueness of that show.

Here's another I can't skip - Dexter




Taking a common morning routine and turning into something so creepy and dark is a stroke of brilliance I say.

Recently I caught on to HBO's True Blood, a vampire drama set in modern day Louisiana. Sure the show can have a muddled plotline at times, and the acting a little over the top, but it is unique. Also one great tone setting opening, plus a great tune -



Two cents I needed to get out. Got yer own favourite openings? Drop me a line.

Rob Stalkie's my hero.

Though I use the term lazily, cause let's face it - Hal Jordan's my hero.
But Stalkie gets all the props for winning the Last Comic Standing Yukon contest, held at Coasters these past ouple couple of months.
A brilliant idea concocted by Jonas and Chris McNutt to get a boost to the comedy nights in general, and create a good buzz regarding the sheer amount of comedic talent there is in the North.
Stalkie always had a natural ability to keep the crowd engaged, as in, when he took the mic, people would shut up and listen. Wish I could say the same for the rest of us.
His presence was due to his lack of a persona. There wasn't much characterization going on, because that really was him on the stage. Which I think is what will make him a succesful comedian.
He's heading out to Toronto to get his name out there, and as he brilliantly said himself: "I'm prepared to suffer."
If you're brave enough to admit that, then you'll do just fine.
He's also, one funny bastard.

Hmmmmm...

This -

http://www.thestar.com/sciencetech/article/544684

Made me think of this:



Connection? I say oui!